Fruits of My Labor

I had to give a tiny lecture to my kids about kindness at the store today. The gentleman in the aisle with us smiled and said, "I hope I'm looking into my future, my wife just had twins! You're doing a great job!" Very sweet. I told him thank you and added, "It will be difficult, then it will get easier...then it will get difficult again, because they are constantly growing and changing! But, it will always be worth it!" I then congratulated him and wished him and his wife luck and we went on our way.

As we were checking out the cashier remarked about how kind the kids were and even gave them extra "Buddy Bucks" to put in the sticker machine. She said, "Wow, they are so well behaved and adorable! I'd love to come visit at your house I bet they are fun!" And she was right, they are! 

They are super fun and wonderful and sometimes they are crabby and difficult and that's ok too. We all have bad days and we are entitled to them.

I do not often get to see the fruits of my labor as a parent, but today in the time it took to select cereal to the time it took to checkout, I saw change in my kid's kindness and I consider that a win!

It reminded me of the children that we fostered in between our children being reunified with their biological mom and returning to our home. We had two young boys "Paul" age 3 and "Toby" age 15 months. Paul and Toby had special emotional needs that made it very difficult to parent them, especially after our children returned home. 

We had 5 children all under the age of five! Four of them were in diapers and two had special needs, to say it was challenging is an understatement! We did our very best to love and teach them in the time that we had with them. Thankfully, they had a family friend who was willing to care for them until they could be reunified with their biological parents so they went to that placement after being in our care for only a few months.

William and I tried very hard with these children, but we were never able to bond with them. On the very last day we had them Toby finally smiled at and hugged William. It was bittersweet. We sent them off to their new home not knowing how they would turn out or if their parents would ever regain custody of them.

By odd coincidence one day William happened to see Toby and his mother walking into the tax office. We were excited because that meant that we now knew that they were reunified! By even odder coincidence my friend who had done respite care for Toby and Paul saw who she thought to be Toby and his mother at the WIC office. She stealthily took a secret picture to show me and to make sure that it was indeed Toby, and it was! She remarked that Toby seemed to be developmentally/emotionally "normal" and it made me cry tears of joy.

I have often struggled with my thoughts about these boys and worried for them and prayed for them hoping that they would have happy and normal lives and that they would get to be reunified with their parents. The not knowing had weighed heavily on my heart, but God decided to grant me peace by arranging these odd "coincidences". 

Today, I got to see the "payoff" with my kids and it was awesome. More than likely though, there will be times in all of our relationships where we will have to wait for it, or even more likely times where we will never get to see it. But, remember that just because you won't see the payoff, doesn't mean that you shouldn't make the investment.