When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a prima ballerina. I loved the beautiful costumes, glamorous make-up, satiny shoes and yes, the sparkling tiaras. Sadly, I never got to be a ballerina. My older sisters were already enrolled in martial arts and my parents did not want to juggle taking six kids to and from several different activities. Much to my chagrin, most of my youth I wore a karate gi, in lieu of a tutu.
M has always loved music and dancing. I thought it would be a great idea to live vicariously--I mean, to nurture her passion by enrolling her in dance class. However, what I didn't count on was how different dancing in our living room is verses dancing in a classroom or on a stage. Some days M is super excited to see her friends and to dance, but the majority of the time she leaves crying without so much as stepping a foot into the dance studio. After several months and several hundred dollars, we have decided that we will not pursue dance until she shows more interest and she is a little bit older. My beautiful baby girl will not be a dance prodigy (well at least not this year) and I'm okay with that.
I feel like we gave it an honest try and that it was something she was interested in, but just not ready for. She was excited about dance and would ask about when we were going to dance and if we were going to see her friends, etc, but I think actually being there was a little overwhelming to her. I was slightly annoyed because we would get up early, get dressed, pick up F early from school, drive all the way out to dance class, and then M would freak right out and we'd turn around and drive home. I think any parent would be at least a little annoyed.
Today as we were driving home I asked myself the following:
What is the harm in waiting another year or two to see if she is even interested?
Does it really matter if the recital and costume fees are nonrefundable?
Do I keep pursuing something that does nothing but frustrate all of us?
Am I doing more harm or good to my daughter by asking her to rise to an occasion that she may or may not be ready for?
Immediately my thoughts shifted to one question: In the long run, what matters most to you as a parent for your child and where does this fit in?
Wow, that really put things in perspective. Dance class has nothing to do with my long term parenting goals, but here I was letting a single event determine my mood for the rest of the day.
As parents I think that we get so wrapped up in the day to day, that we forget that we are working towards a much greater goal. I know I am to make sure my kid's basic needs for things like food and shelter are met, that they are safe, that they know they are loved,etc. but ultimately, it is my job as a parent to prepare my kids for adulthood. Do I really want M to grow up to be a ballerina or I am more concerned with capturing her heart so that she will be a good person?
